It's been a very long time since I have updated this.

Life has been rough, with many ups, and many, many more downs. I've been fighting a long, drawn-out battle with depression, and I have to say, that's a really rough road. I don't wish it on anyone, ever. I'm feeling better now, better than I've been in YEARS. I'd like to stay this way.

Looking back, all I have to say to anyone out there that's going through this wretched battle is this: don't go alone. DON'T EVER let the depression convince you that you are alone, that's its biggest, nastiest lie. No one is ever alone.  Be it a friend, a minister, a co-worker, the nice waitress at the deli, there's always someone to talk to. Don't go alone, find help. I may advise professional help. but then again, mine wasn't. I have learned that there are two kinds of professionals out there: those that work for the paycheck, and those that work because they LOVE the job. Give me a minute, I'm getting to the point. I see it around me, now that I know how to look. The second type is less common, but you'll find them if you look too. I once met a judge that was so very passionate about his job, he was practically bubbling when he was explaining to us potential jurors what it was we were missing. He L-O-V-E-D being a judge, and he'd never do anything else. I work where I do, making parts of a really unique medical device, because I love the job. I love making something that will make people's lives better. Here's the point: there are professional psychiatrists and counselors that LOVE their job. They. Love. You. And all that they want to do is to help as many people as they can, to reach out and touch as many lives as they can. It doesn't matter that they have never met you before, it doesn't matter what's ailing you, they want to help. It may take a couple tries to find the right one, but they're out there. If you want, you can contact me via e-mail.

I should probably have found my own professional, but before I did, my help came from two unassuming places, a friend from church, and a co-worker that I happened to sit down next to at lunch on the day I got "the call." Both are now really good friends, ones that I won't ever let go of. They helped me keep a hold of the sunny side, and kept me somewhat sane, one by inviting me to regular dinners and board games, and one, unconventionally, by teaching me how to shoot. That's a hobby that I'll keep, it's pretty darned fun. Back then, the range was the one place that I felt completely safe, where trouble and problems couldn't find me, and couldn't reach me. In fact, I usually turned my phone off, and really isolated myself there. It's better to focus anyways. 

I have a LOT of thoughts and memories that I've kept in a Word Doc, but never got around to posting here. I'll slip them in from time to time as memories, and I'll try to put a rough date on them as I can. I also need to make a new page so that I can talk about my string things. :) More on those later, I need to get back to practicing.