Katie's Site

It's been a very long time since I have updated this.

Life has been rough, with many ups, and many, many more downs. I've been fighting a long, drawn-out battle with depression, and I have to say, that's a really rough road. I don't wish it on anyone, ever. I'm feeling better now, better than I've been in YEARS. I'd like to stay this way.

Looking back, all I have to say to anyone out there that's going through this wretched battle is this: don't go alone. DON'T EVER let the depression convince...
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The last few months have been full of ups and downs. I've had more good days, now, but also some pretty low ones. It is to be expected, and is part of the healing process. Still, I wish it didn't hurt so much. Sometimes, I don't know why, I find it a little comforting to sing this little song from Disney's "Robin Hood." Perhaps it reminds me that maybe it's not all that bad. I certainly don't live in Nottingham.

Not in Nottingham

Every town
Has its ups and down
Sometime ups
Outnumber the dow...

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Darn webhost lost the post last night. Here it is again, different for being typed from memory.

I've been looking off and on for a couple years for some nice, straight, preferably black bamboo stalks to holdup silken thermal indicator flags to use with the RC gliders. So far, no luck. Apparently I thought of that search when I encountered a road crew cutting down a massive stand of mixed varieties in a dream a couple days ago.

I got permission, and went along, carefully selecting the straightes...
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These daily walks are a great time for me to think, and I usually take full advantage of the opportunity. Yesterday I tried to figure out why I'm agitated so much, and also why I can't seem to keep a decent pace; I keep speeding up, and have to force myself to slow down.  

It started with "Why?" Why am I walking fast, what's the big deal? Here is the best I can remember of that thought "conversation." 

WHY? I am agitated. Frustrated, excited, scared, lonely.
WHY EXCITED? Going to the marksmanshi...
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I was out for a walk, and decided to take a different route, over Fwy 85 on a flat, uninteresting pedestrian overpass. On the return trip, I stopped to watch the traffic, watching the interactions between the vehicles, like ants on a trail, but with much more personality. I was surprised and delighted when I spotted two drivers waving as they went under. I am sure more did and I didn't see, the sun was in my eyes. It made me think of the words to a favorite Beatles song, "Eleanor Rigby," But ...
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I have definitely begun working off the extra weight. I need to find a cheap substitute for my scale, I need to start watching that. I'll see what I can find at Bed Bath and Beyond later this or early next week. I started my evening walks last week, forty minutes of good, strong walking from home to the gas station and back. I'll measure it tomorrow when I go get gas, if I remember, or use the pedometer. However, the last few days I haven't been able to go for these walks due to the smoke fun...
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Today I asked Eddie what his thoughts are on the subject of self defense and firearms. I should have known that was a loaded subject (pun intended), but the reply really threw me for a loop. He looks me in the eye ans says: "Let me ask you this: Would you shoot a guy to watch him die?" I was floored by the question, and by the time I got out a reply, he said "Nope, too late. You're already dead." That surprised me, as it was intended to do, I'm sure. It also made me think a LOT. So much think...
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I really shouldn't type this late, not when I'm falling asleep on the keyboard. I just lost a whole post.

I feel kind of like this guy, who just got knocked into last year. It's a web comic that I'm re-starting. I have quit rolling and bouncing downhill, and am starting to get up and dust myself off. I am making a mental list of all the plusses to moving here, to counter balance the really bad parking and commute, and having to change wards at church. Heck, I changed stake, too. I took some ti...
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Sunday was the ash scattering. I should not have expected less, but Yet I was still surprised by how many people showed up to send Dory off on the next leg of his journey. It couldn't have gone better. The wind and waves were calm, it wan't cold or foggy, and just a little overcast. I was on Rob's Ranger Tug, "Mud Hen" with Carl and Rob. Many, many Potter Yachters and friends were there with me, all around. I could feel the love and support. I had to wait for some boats (Don!) to move from de...
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